My mother and sister have slightly different approaches to dating. My mother briefly met my father a department store and then they reconnected through my aunt at an auto repair shop, while my sister has had dating experience in both public and digital landscapes. It is important to note that that changes in relation to dating experiences is largely associated with developments in technology, but I also noticed a large difference within dating expectations as well.

My mother and father experienced what was commonly referred to as a courtship, and their relationship became exclusive a lot faster than the average relationship today. However, my sister’s dating experiences have been more complex. It seems that before my parents started regularly dating each other, they already had a friendship and used that relationship to determine if they wanted to pursue a more personal connection. Unlike my mother most of my sister’s dating experiences involved a mutual friend but not someone she knew very well. It was also common to use the dating process to get to know each, and maybe date several people at the same time before committing to an excusive relationship with just one person.

I did find that my mother and sister mostly looked for similar traits in a desired partner, more specifically, both wanted honesty, respect, someone who had a love for family, and someone to enjoy life with. However, I did find it interesting that their opinions on religious compatibility differed. I was unaware that my mother was willing to pursue a relationship with someone who was not a Christian as long as he believes in God or a higher power. On the other hand, dating someone who is not a Christian was a definite deal breaker for my sister stating, “My faith is one of the strongest aspects of my life. If the person I’m dating or want to marry do not share these same beliefs I don’t think I would be able to make it work.”

“My faith is one of the strongest aspects of my life. If the person I’m dating or want to marry do not share these same beliefs I don’t think I would be able to make it work.”

Natalie (sister)

Lastly, I noticed that both my mother sister noticed what advantages and disadvantages they bring to a relationship and did their best to try and find partners who could make up for what they lack in order to make the relationship successful. My sister, specifically, struggles with finances but said “I want my potential spouse to be good with finances. I’m not the best when it comes to finances, but since I trust him [husband] I would be willing to give him my half of the money for the bills and let him mange everything without too much worry.”

“I want my potential spouse to be good with finances. I’m not the best when it comes to finances, but since I trust him [husband] I would be willing to give him my half of the money for the bills and let him mange everything without too much worry.”

Natalie (sister)

The differences in dating experiences between my mom and my sister reflects some of the changes Aziz Ansari discussed in his book, Modern Romance about the drastic changes in dating and how it has contributed to how younger generations establish romantic relationships. Although my parents did not have an arranged marriage, their experience was more traditional and less complex than what my sister has encountered. In comparison my parents also had less people to dedicate their attention to without the help of technology and were more likely to meet, date, and marry someone within close proximity. However, my sister is experiencing more complications with dating do to larger pools of people to meet and interact with in addition growing demands of compatibility and fining the perfect mate. Lastly, there seems the roadblock of balancing individual lives, goals and aspirations with the partnership and teamwork of a relationship.