Surprisingly my mother and sister did not struggle with their definitions of family, both opting for an inclusive interpretation grounded on love, care and support. I was specifically caught off guard by my mother’s response when she was asked who or what makes a family. She quickly responded by saying, “Your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and your extended family.” Before my mom finished giving her answer, she made sure to clarify by adding family can also be people who consistently love and support you although they may not be biologically related.
I thought this response was interesting because it was always more common for my siblings to refer to close friends as family while we were growing up; however, I did not observe this behavior from my parents very much during my childhood and adolescent years. I presume that my mom’s change in perception is possibly due to more opportunities to interact with some of her long-time friends and do more personal things that she enjoys. As my sisters and I have grown up, my mother has had a few career changes and has also reconnected with a few of her friends from previous years. I believe that the communication, time and support she has received from these relationships help to change her perspective.
Lastly, I also noticed slight change in my sister’s viewpoint of family as well. Although my sister still believes that family can consists of non-biologically related people, I noticed that she hesitated slightly before providing her definition. She also asked for a little more clarification after I presented the question, asking, “Do you mean immediate or extended family?” I thought her need for clarification was curious because as a teenager or young adult I don’t suppose that she would have made a distinction between immediate or extended family, but instead would have considered them one in the same. As she continued to give her response, my sister indicated that due to experiences and changes within friendships, she still treats her close friends as family but looks to her biological relatives for stronger love and support.
The Gullatt Family 