Both my mother and sister had the opportunity to observe long-term marriages that heavily influenced the characteristics, behaviors, and type of romantic relationships they aspired to have. The biggest lessons my mother learned from her parents’ marriage were teamwork and perseverance. Although, my mother frequently witnessed an amicable marriage the times of conflict do stick out in her memory. According to my mother, these difficult times “showed me that if you truly love and care about someone you can get through hard times and make life good for the entire family. “

“….[difficult times] showed me that if you truly love and care about someone you can get through hard times and make life good for the entire family. “

Beverly (mother)

During this portion of the interview I also learned that my mother does not believe that marriage is essential to building a strong family. I found this interesting because this seems to be a different perspective from what my mother expressed while I was growing up. While my mother was never judgmental of family structures where adults/parents were not married, my sisters and I grew up with an understanding that marriage is a strong foundation to build a family; therefore, I expected my mother to have a more rigid stance on marriage.

However, I do appreciate the growth from this perspective as my mother stated, “…I don’t think you should stay in a marriage if it is going to be harmful physically or mentally to anyone in the family.” One of siblings temporarily experienced an unhealthy relationship with a few violent occurrences. My family never encouraged my sister to stay in this volatile relationship, but I do think the personal experience of encountering this situation made it easier for us to understand and openly discuss ending relationships and starting over. Lastly, these experiences also fostered a more positive perspective towards co-parenting and non-traditional family structures.

“…I don’t think you should stay in a marriage if it is going to be harmful physically or mentally to anyone in the family.”

Beverly (mother)

It was interesting to interview my mother about my parents marriage because they do not have a homogamous relationship across some of the pertinent characteristics that were discussed in class. My parents are actually an example of a hypogamous couple. Although my parents are the same race and religious background, my mom is the breadwinner and has also earned more education than my dad. This very different from what most sociologists would examine when studying marriages as men usually have more status than their wives or are in relationships with women who are equally matched.

• 

•